Outrageous or just good manners?

So I saw this article this morning when I was scrolling through one of my many news apps (I do like to keep up to date with whats on!).

And apparently this list of rules for bridesmaids has sparked quite a heated debate online. It was even posted to a ‘Wedding Shaming Facebook Group’! Seriously; who knew these existed!!!

The article says that it was ‘Thought to originally have been written by a bride for her own bridal party’ and probably tongue in cheek. Yet the ’12 Rules Every Bridesmaid Should Live By’ list has divided opinion. Some commenting that its ‘rude’ whilst others believe its ‘spot on’.

As a wedding photographer I see weddings from start to finish. And as Nikki Kirk Photography provides a bespoke service I do spend a lot of time with my Clients in the run up to their wedding days. And here’s the deal; when you are asked to be a bridesmaid you don’t have to say yes. We all know that being a bridesmaid is hard work and it should be. One of your closest friends is getting married and they have asked you to support them on their wedding day. This is a big deal. The nice dress you get to wear is a bonus but you are there as the Bride’s Maid – the name kind of gives it away!

I was asked to be a bridesmaid earlier this year and I said a big ‘yes’ knowing that I will need to be there to support and help on the wedding day. Sarah could dress me in a hessian sack (hopefully nipped in at the waist with a lovely bow!) with trainers for all I care. (I know she won’t as she’s the most wonderful soul who always puts others before herself. Or maybe she will… watch this space!). Because lets be absolutely clear; this day is not about me.

Its about one of my dearest friends getting married to her soul mate. I am there to help ensure that she has the day of her dreams and this includes putting in the time before the wedding.  Helping with the planning, the hen party, the shopping, the organising, the long chats and wobbles. Everything that come with organising a wedding day. And yes I expect it to take time out of my already busy world. But that’s OK and I’m more than happy to do it. She was there on my wedding day to support me and has been throughout my entire life. Its not a big price to pay but it is a big deal. As a bride you want your day to be perfect. And as her friend why would I want it to be anything less than amazing for her.

And if the dance floor is empty then yes I will be leading the charge. I can throw some serious shapes after a few glasses of bubbles!

Most of the above to be fair is just common courtesy and good old fashioned etiquette.

So come on #TeamBridesmaids lets rock our Brides worlds by being #TeamAwesome


Sarah on my wedding day (above right). Photo credit Mike Crees 2007.

And leading the charge to the dance floor (middle right!)


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